Deployment Journal

Now, those of you who know me, know that I'm a pretty strong-willed, independent chick. AKA general badass (JUST KIDDING!!!) Hahaha. Anyways, even the toughest of us can't always keep our hair perfectly in place.

So, this whole thing of being married to someone who is not only in the military but also currently deployed is a situation that is completely foreign to me! I'm usually the one who is away. I've previously (quite a long time ago) maintained a long distance relationship twice and I was always the one who was/went away to a different state. This time, yes I moved but my honey is the one who went away.

Also, if you know me, you probably never would have expected me to be with a military dude. Yeah, life is funny like that in an ironic way.

OK, so back to the point of this post. I got the idea to start a journal while Tony's away on deployment. I'm so sorry but I have absolutely no idea where I got the idea from. I know I didn't make it up. I did what I do with all my best ideas, I stole it and made it my own! ;)

So, the idea of the deployment journal for me, is a way to document what I've been doing. Yes, I did live here for a bit 7 years ago but I was going to UH Manoa and living in the dorms. It's much different this time. I'm getting out to more places and trying tons of new things! I want to remember all the awesome hole in the walls I eat out, the cool beaches I go to, etc! This is a good place for me to write those things down and be able to look them up to reference them.

I thought that this journal was fitting...

1. It's big enough to comfortably write in. I mean, those little journals are super cute but honey, I've got big handwriting.

2. It's Mickey

3. He's driving a boat

4. How adorably cute is the back cover?

Guess what else is hard about having someone deployed? Ever see friends on facebook who are military spouses/girlfriends/friends/(insert important person in a soldier/sailor's life here) post the occassional screenshot of them video chatting with theirs? Yeah, we don't get to do that. But, what we do get, when we're lucky is the ability to skype when they are in port.

Now...does it always work?
Hardly ever.

 Is it blurry?
Almost always.

Is the audio delayed and/or warbled?
 More often than not.

Do you get disconnected often?
You bet.

Are there like a million other sailors trying to use the same internet connection at the local bar/wifi location on base at the same exact time you are?
Guaranteed

Will you have to be up at some un-godly hour just to try to talk for 3-5 min without getting cut off? Absolutely

The best way to get to talk to them is if they can get overnight liberty and have a hotel room. Then, usually, I've experienced, the connection is good.

Luckily, having spent the last year in a long distance relationship, I am well-equipped to not freak out or even experience an increase in heart rate when the skype call gets disconnected. It doesn't always work in the reverse. It took hubbs a bit longer to remember to remain calm when we inevitably got disconnected for like the 5th time in the last 4 minutes.

So, if you get annoyed by lack of communication, write about it!

Write about whatever you like! No one has to read! I write when I'm sad and as I start to write, I realize it's not that bad and find something positive to focus on. This is just one of my strategies. Sometimes it works.

Sometimes you don't want to bother them about every little thing. The journal can be your place to write about it and then come back to it later to develop your solution. It's helpful if you don't have many friends close by to talk to.

How to write wedding thank yous from both of you while one person is away

Just a little package...I sent him our wedding thank yous. Since we did a destination wedding, I decided to use shutterfly to create a filmstrip of pictures on the front of the activities we did as a group. I wrote little thank you notes to everyone and addressed all the envelopes. Then I put them in a quart size ziploc and mailed them to Tony so he could include his own notes. I believe these have been mailed while I'm writing this...but they did run out of stamps after they started requiring them to pay for and use stamps on the stuff they send home. I hope that people will appreciate it and see it as our own personal touch. This took some coordination and effort to get together. 

At first, he was all, how am I going to write all these notes? I sent him a list of a few phrases he could use plus instructions for mailing. :) Hahaha. Can't help it, I am a teacher after all...gotta include instructions!

I sent these on July 25 and they arrived to him on July 30. That was pretty quick...It definitely isn't always that quick...

Birthday Care Package!

 So, this is my second year in a row of having to celebrate Tony's birthday via care package. I actually used the same box I used last year. I just put a piece of scrapbook paper over where I had written #25 so that this one could be for one year later...I don't have pictures of the sides...I'll look around for them...The sides say, "Happy Birthday Tony" in block letters that are colored in various designs.



The whale thing you will see show up on all the packages I send...it's an inside joke regarding that happened on the ship once...Just go with it.

 You can also cut ziploc bags to put pictures on the flaps so they can be removed by the recipient. I also included scrapbook stickers (just be sure to cover them with packing tape so they survive shipping). Also, notice, I put envelopes on the inside panels of the package. These contain little notes to him.

I also invested in a food saver vacuum sealer. I just got the more basic one they sell at the Nex. I made some brownies (I used a brownie mold that is designed to make brownie pops). I put them in a small plastic container that some sea asparagus I got from the farmer's market came in. I then put the whole thing in a vacuum sealer bag and sealed it. It seemed to work well. I think this also prevents complete crushing. He said they were a tad squashed but that they tasted amazing (they better, Ghirardeli double chocolate mix)

This is an Annie's microwave mac & cheese

He loves the Ninja Turtles. These are bubbles.

These are Barnum's animal crackers

I decided to write the kind of popcorn on it because I assumed he wouldn't read the kind on the back.

Gotta be punny!

li-hing sour gummy worms

un-birthday package for my friend! I forgot to include the card before I sealed the package and I didn't want to ruin my duct tape master piece so I just put the card in the envelope and taped it to the outside of the package. It looks like a decoration and it's a cute way to include a card in a package.

Got this idea from pinterest. Add a banner to a package! So easy! Just write each letter of your message on it's own little flag. I decided to individually tape each flag just in case. Then, I hole punched the mini flags and used some ribbon we already had to string up the letters. Be sure to make sure you put them all in the right order! Then, simply tape it to each corner. I decided I wanted it to show when the package was all the way open but you could also tape it to the flaps that go on the outside.

By the way, I totally accidentally sealed up this package before I included the banner and had to open it back up (I tend to put a lot of tape...like really a lot...on my packages) so that was a bit of a challenge.

The Flat Rate Envelope: It doesn't have to be flat!

This tutorial is kinda backwards. It starts at the top with the finished product. Also, I really can spell envelope! The picture grid app I was using cut off the "e" I swear!

Ok, so your large flat rate box costs like $15 but this envelope costs like $5.80 and if you fold the bottom corners up a bit, you can make it into a box. It holds pretty much as close to the same amount of stuff as the medium box. I like to use them to ship smaller packages. Also, it can be used to ship packages more frequently if money is a bit tight.

Care Package #1: For the first port visit

I put pictures of us on the flaps inside those page protectors. You know the plastic sleeves you put papers in in a 3 ring binder? I cut them down to fit the pictures. This way, the box had a decoration AND he can keep the pictures because he is allowed 5 x  5 x7 pictures to display on his rack...I guess really on the wall next to his bed.

 This was the first time I wrapped the package inside. I definitely got that idea from pinterest...

Someone who works in his space got a keurig so I can send K-cups! Super easy and there are so many kinds...I'm excited for the holiday times when I can send him

 Inside the little box this is wrapped is the mini-package for my friend. :) I always try to pack something in packages I send to Tony that is for her. I put some cookies and stuff in there and the beef jerky (turkey jerky, actually( is for her).

If you're gonna send care packages, you gotta be punny!

I also wrote a message on the actual deodorant under this punny note. You can see the end of it at the bottom of the paper but it doesn't necessarily look like anything is written on the actual deodorant itself. Another secret surprise!














Pack that box full! Not only because you're paying for it but also because then, things will be less likely to get crushed! All of this stuff arrived safe and sound (even the cookies!)

Open When Letters (not just written by wifey) This is for you two, guys and gals deployed, Write to us!

I would strongly suggest writing open when letters. A lot of the deployment blogs suggest sending your hubby with letters to open while he waits for the first mail from you to arrive. I would also suggest that those of you who are deploying, write your loved one some open when letters. They will love that you are so thoughtful, trust me!

Here are some inspirations for open when ideas.
long distance relationship 101 open when letter ideas
pinterest: 83 pins about open when letters
My pin of a few of my open when letters

In every package, I include open when letters because Tony really likes them. A few of my favorite topics that Navy people will understand that I've come up with are:

Open when...the port schedule changes

Open when...the space you're in is freezing

Open when...you want to see me (put a picture of you in there)

Open when...you want to be with me (put a picture of the two of you in there)

Open when...you want to know what the future holds (postcard of Kaua'i where we want to honeymoon when he returns)

Open when...you're pulling in to port (Ok, I'm sure I didn't come up with that one...but it's applicable)

These aren't the original set I sent when he deployed. They are the second set because he really liked the first ones I sent. I just went out and bought a package of 104 flat note cards with envelopes at the Nex. They are just blank cards (kind look like index cards) that I write the message on and then they have matching envelopes in all the colors. I also sometimes use larger envelopes to include pictures or cut the pictures smaller so they fit in these colored envelopes. That way, he will never know which hold pictures. I sometimes use the regular sized white envelopes to include pictures and sometimes they just include notes.

Some of the notes are mushy-gooshy, some are silly, some are more serious, and some are specific to his my relationship. You get the idea. 

Guys, when I receive the open whens he's been writing to me (because he liked the ones I sent so much that he wanted to write some for me) I'll post some pictures for topics.

Navy mail_FPO_How to complete a customs form and speed of package arrivals

This post contains: information on them sending us mail, speed of arrival of packages, and how to complete customs forms. At the bottom are helpful links.

Now, if you've been doing any research, you've probably found that there is a plethora of awesome info about sending care packages to deployed Marines and Army. That is great. Man, some of the things those wives post, they are a creative bunch! Super cool! However, I found information from Navy moms about what to send and what they send their sons but I'm not a mom.

One thing that's different about Navy deployments is the mail situation. They say that they get to send letters from their FPO address on the ship...NOT TRUE! They have to buy stamps. At least that is the case on this ship. I don't know if it is different on other ships. They told Tony (he even forwarded me the email...) that they are able to send letter mail for free. When he tried to send letters to me, they told him he had to buy stamps. OK, then, get this. They didn't have ANY stamps! So, he had to wait until they got more stamps.

Another thing, you have more freedom sending them things. They don't have to necessarily go through other countries' more strict customs. You CAN send chocolate. It also doesn't take as long for mail to reach them. A flat rate box (or envelope...tutorial coming soon in later post) can get there in as little as 7-9 days.

Now, one thing the speed of them getting the package probably depends on for your sailor is their port schedule. Get ready for this to change. Literally, it changes all the time and they usually aren't allowed to tell you. I honestly don't care where they are going to port. I just need to to know the days so I can send a package with the right timing. I like to give it about 14 total days to get there. Just to be on the safe side.

I like my packages to get there right before they do because I love baking! I almost always try to send baked goods such as cookies or brownies. I always send enough so he can share and I attach the recipe (or ingredient list) just in case of allergies.

Don't forget to fill out the customs form. It looks like this:

You can use either CN 22 (form 2976) or form 2976-A
I use 2976 (the smaller one) and my friend uses 2976-A. The form A is bigger (more space to write) and they put it in a plastic sleeve.

Now, you can just tear off the top (I call it a cover page) page. It has instructions for how to fill out the customs form. I was super nervous to complete it the first time, scared the postal worker would deny acceptance of my package I had so carefully prepared. Don't worry! It's super easy!

You just write what you have on the line for detailed description of contents. You can write more than one thing per line, separate things with commas. Don't put a weight for anything. That is not important. Also, you have to individually write values for items. Lost of posts say that you can't write general things like "snacks" but I have not had a problem with this and my grandma sent a package and wrote snacks on hers too and they both arrived safe and sound.

If there's anything expensive in it, you might choose not to include it in your list. I honestly don't write everything that's in there. Wait til you see how many things I fit into those large boxes...They really don't care. I think it's like this because it's Navy. I would not generalize this for all military mailings.

Here are some helpful websites for more info on customs forms and mail:
USPS guide to customs forms
Guide for 2976-A (larger form)
Guide to complete customs form online
What can you send? (USPS guide)

Day 1: Getting Underway

Today's the day. Don't ask my why they had to get there so early? (7am, really?) Plus, they didn't even tell us when to be there! Literally. Haha. Literally the day before, Tony's on the phone, calling, trying to find out when he has to be on the ship...So, since we didn't know, we had to show up early, 6:30 just in case liberty expired before 7am.

Neither he nor I slept very well at all. We both woke up numerous times in the middle of the night. They say (in all the military mumbo-jumbo that they call advice) that there are 7 stages to deployment. Now, I've never been one to follow trends (not quickly) or be like others so when I read these 7 stages...I was like, yeah, no, I'm not going to go through that. Stage 1 is supposed to be anticipation of loss (I was like, why am I going to waste my time anticipating that he's going? I'm gonna be present while he's still here and enjoy the fact that we live in paradise.) It says you can feel anger during this stage (ok, I will admit to that, I was angry that they were going to be making us wake up so early on the day they were leaving...I mean, come on, they are going to be out there for 7 months...why do they have to leave in the morning?). Of course, the Navy couldn't give us one last lazy morning together...Too easy.

Okay, then the second stage is Emotional Withdrawal. Yeah right, this was not happening to me. I did not have the feeling they described as, "If you have to go, go." I was like, how about you don't go. Yeah, that'd be great. But again, my situation is different than most people. We had been long distance for our entire relationship. I sorta looked at it as, we've done a year, what's another 7 months? Nothing we can't handle, that's what.

So, I'm like, good, I haven't been through any of these stages...Then they leave. Okay, so this is the hilarious thing about the Navy. Ever heard the joke that their motto is, "Hurry up and wait"? Yeah, anyone who has been affiliated with this organization knows what I'm talking about. So we have to get there at the butt crack of dawn and then...We sit around for literally 2 hours. I don't know what they were doing. Then, this guy shows up and gives some bullshit speech to us about how these guys have been through a lot and how they are the best destroyermen (I think that they should be more equal and call them destroyerpeople) and how the families are going to be safe because they are going to take care of them here at home. OMG! It was like, dude shut up and stop patronizing but it's not like they really have a suggestion box or place to leave comments...lol OK, I think I'm starting to feel some of that anger.

Tony was on the back of the boat doing line handlers (OK, how come we basically have the technology to create artificial wombs for babies but they still have to drag the ropes that tie the boat to its parking spot by hand?) And, to top it off, there was this guy that was yelling at them! He was being so rude and mean! I was getting about ready to jump off that pier and onto the boat and give him a piece of my mind. Like it isn't enough that they are leaving, you have to yell at them?! Then, he yelled at me because I was joking to my friend about jumping onto the big black bumper that keeps the ship from scratching the pier. I guess this guy was feeling that anger thing they were talking about in the stages of deployment.

The only stage so far that I've felt is stage 3: emotional disorganization. I wouldn't call it emotional for me but literal disorganization. Like, I literally couldn't find anything! I spilled my last glass of wine on the rug. I couldn't find the shoes I wanted to wear. I was trying to go to the gym with my friend's wife and I couldn't find a single one of my sports bras. I forgot how to get to base to even go to the gym! It was all pretty hilarious!

When I got home from seeing him off...I grabbed a pen and paper and sat on the couch to write a letter to him. I detailed how I felt as he was leaving, what I did. Honestly, I have no idea what I really wrote. That was how I channeled my feelings. Then I met my friend at the gym to lift. We killed it on the weights (ok, we were starting day 1 of our new fitness plan) and I felt a lot better.

Going Away Gift Bag

Okay, so I decided to put together a little gift bag for my husband and my friend. I wanted to give them something on the day they sailed away. Sorry, I don't have any pictures of these because this was before I thought to document what I was doing.

I went to the Nex and bought a few small things that I thought might be thoughtful and come in handy. I got things like those packets of powdered drink mix, a Brita water bottle (with a filter built in), beef jerky, dried fruit (for when the ship runs out of fresh fruit and veggies) and also as a sort of joke about not getting scurvy. I don't remember what else but I just got plain blue gift bags (a larger one for Tony and a medium one for Lisa).

I also included some open when letters. (more on those in their own post)

I ended up giving Tony his bag early because I suck at keeping anything from him! I gave Lisa hers when I saw her on the ship the day they left.