Day 1: Getting Underway

Today's the day. Don't ask my why they had to get there so early? (7am, really?) Plus, they didn't even tell us when to be there! Literally. Haha. Literally the day before, Tony's on the phone, calling, trying to find out when he has to be on the ship...So, since we didn't know, we had to show up early, 6:30 just in case liberty expired before 7am.

Neither he nor I slept very well at all. We both woke up numerous times in the middle of the night. They say (in all the military mumbo-jumbo that they call advice) that there are 7 stages to deployment. Now, I've never been one to follow trends (not quickly) or be like others so when I read these 7 stages...I was like, yeah, no, I'm not going to go through that. Stage 1 is supposed to be anticipation of loss (I was like, why am I going to waste my time anticipating that he's going? I'm gonna be present while he's still here and enjoy the fact that we live in paradise.) It says you can feel anger during this stage (ok, I will admit to that, I was angry that they were going to be making us wake up so early on the day they were leaving...I mean, come on, they are going to be out there for 7 months...why do they have to leave in the morning?). Of course, the Navy couldn't give us one last lazy morning together...Too easy.

Okay, then the second stage is Emotional Withdrawal. Yeah right, this was not happening to me. I did not have the feeling they described as, "If you have to go, go." I was like, how about you don't go. Yeah, that'd be great. But again, my situation is different than most people. We had been long distance for our entire relationship. I sorta looked at it as, we've done a year, what's another 7 months? Nothing we can't handle, that's what.

So, I'm like, good, I haven't been through any of these stages...Then they leave. Okay, so this is the hilarious thing about the Navy. Ever heard the joke that their motto is, "Hurry up and wait"? Yeah, anyone who has been affiliated with this organization knows what I'm talking about. So we have to get there at the butt crack of dawn and then...We sit around for literally 2 hours. I don't know what they were doing. Then, this guy shows up and gives some bullshit speech to us about how these guys have been through a lot and how they are the best destroyermen (I think that they should be more equal and call them destroyerpeople) and how the families are going to be safe because they are going to take care of them here at home. OMG! It was like, dude shut up and stop patronizing but it's not like they really have a suggestion box or place to leave comments...lol OK, I think I'm starting to feel some of that anger.

Tony was on the back of the boat doing line handlers (OK, how come we basically have the technology to create artificial wombs for babies but they still have to drag the ropes that tie the boat to its parking spot by hand?) And, to top it off, there was this guy that was yelling at them! He was being so rude and mean! I was getting about ready to jump off that pier and onto the boat and give him a piece of my mind. Like it isn't enough that they are leaving, you have to yell at them?! Then, he yelled at me because I was joking to my friend about jumping onto the big black bumper that keeps the ship from scratching the pier. I guess this guy was feeling that anger thing they were talking about in the stages of deployment.

The only stage so far that I've felt is stage 3: emotional disorganization. I wouldn't call it emotional for me but literal disorganization. Like, I literally couldn't find anything! I spilled my last glass of wine on the rug. I couldn't find the shoes I wanted to wear. I was trying to go to the gym with my friend's wife and I couldn't find a single one of my sports bras. I forgot how to get to base to even go to the gym! It was all pretty hilarious!

When I got home from seeing him off...I grabbed a pen and paper and sat on the couch to write a letter to him. I detailed how I felt as he was leaving, what I did. Honestly, I have no idea what I really wrote. That was how I channeled my feelings. Then I met my friend at the gym to lift. We killed it on the weights (ok, we were starting day 1 of our new fitness plan) and I felt a lot better.